Don't Wait For Better Dice. Roll.
It's October 1, 2019.
I woke up this morning and began to journal. As I wrote down the date at the top of the page, my heart sank. Yes, today is one of those days where the brevity of life hit me like a truck.
Most of the time, our hours bleed into days, bleed into weeks, bleed into months, bleed into years, and we largely don't notice ourselves changing. I can't really recall the day I realized my child's body had become an adult's. Yet here I am. My Dad turns 60 in a couple of weeks, further proof that life is flying by.
This all got me thinking about my own life, and my own mortality. I think about how fast the last 5 years have gone by, and how much quicker the next 5, and then 10 will too. So how am I living?
We may throw the dice, but The Lord determines how they fall.
- Proverbs 16:33
I thought of that Bible verse this morning and began to wonder - Have I thrown the dice, really? Have I really thrown the dice, in faith that God would, in his goodness have them fall for my good? Or have I held on to my dice, stalling, hoping that God would hand me a pair with 1's on all six sides of each one?
If I had uniform dice, I could throw them with confidence. I would know the outcome before taking the chance. So is it really faith? Or is it control? Is that any way to live? Do I want to be 60 and afraid? Do I want another October (or 10) to come around, while I'm still holding a deteriorating pair of dice, waiting for God to hand me something more certain?
Everything can fall apart at any moment. I've seen it happen in my life. I've seen it happen in the lives of friends. We have a calling, written upon our very human spirits to roll our dice, not hope for better dice. To ignore this call is to ignore your humanity, to strip yourself of what makes you unique in creation.
Don't wait for better dice. Roll.