10 Things To Remember To Live Your Best 2020
In just a few short days 2019 will come to an end. The 2010's will be over, and it'll once again be the roaring 20's. There's a lot of excitement that comes with a new year. Something about the calendar shift puts people in the mood to change their lives. There's also a lot of cynicism. You've seen the memes.
The reality is, you don't need a new year to change your life. But you're also not disqualified from changing your life if you choose to do so on January 1st. So if you're motivated to change your mindset, habits, and overall quality of life for 2020 and going forward, I have 10 guiding principles for you that I am certain will tangibly make your life better if you internalize them. Here they are:
1. Speak Ill Of No One - Yourself Included
Learning to not speak poorly about people is a great way to get them to like you. It's a great way to develop trust with people. Trust just so happens to be the foundation of deep relationships, which you and I both know is likely your deepest desire. Moreover, the more you talk about others behind their backs, the more you normalize that sort of behavior in your own subconscious. Consequently, you start assuming other people talk about you as much as you talk about other people. See how this can hurt your ability to love or be loved?
2. Consistency > Intensity
Life isn't a movie montage. Absolutely nothing worth achieving happens without ridiculous, uninspiring, boring repetition. Become the kind of person that doesn't need to be great every day, but rather just needs to be present every day.
3. Your Thoughts Are The Steering Wheel Of Your Being
If you spend your days thinking about how terrible you are, you'll slip into an ever deepening hole of terrible-ness. Consequently, if you spend your days thinking about how good you could be, you'll elevate. It's that simple. Your thoughts are the steering wheel of your being.
4. Winning Isn't The Point; Are You Playing A Game Worth Playing?
Ex: Athlete #1 dreams of being a professional baseball player his whole life. He plays 10 seasons in the Big Leagues. Although his team never wins a World Series, he made millions of dollars and got to live out the dream of being a pro. Athlete #1 is, in his mind, is a giant success.
Athlete #2 plays on the same team for the same 10 seasons. His dream was to win a World Series. He makes exactly the same amount of money, plays all the same games, and has all the same privileges as Athlete #1. But his identity was in a World Series that he never won. In his mind, he's a miserable failure who almost got his dream of a World Series.
The only difference is what success meant to each player. Both athletes had identical careers. One was thrilled to play the game, the other is bitter he never won the game. Pick a game you love regardless of the outcome.
5. Creativity Is A Numbers Game
Absolutely nobody's first painting, song, business idea, or book draft is any good at all. Creativity has very little to do with talent. We are all extremely creative. We all have unique and interesting ideas to bring to the table. However, almost nobody has the patience to weed through all of the bad ideas. If you want to create something amazing, create in mass quantities.
6. You're Not Afraid Of Rejection
You aren't afraid of being rejected by that boy you think is cute. You're afraid that you aren't attractive or interesting, and his rejection would prove it. You aren't afraid of being turned down for a raise at work. You're afraid that you aren't valuable enough to deserve it.
If you learn to have a constructive, non-critical relationship with yourself, you'll be amazed at how much less scary rejection seems. The fewer terrible things you think about yourself, the less legitimate ammunition rejection has to use against you.
7. The Answer Is The Uncertainty
I could and may someday attempt to write a book about this. Ryan Holiday sort of did with The Obstacle Is The Way. To avoid getting overly mystical, I'll just say that uncertainty and desperation will take you places that security and certainty never would, and often those places are where your unique destiny will be found. Don't be afraid of it.
8. Joy = The Forgetting Of Self
The best way to forget yourself is to be in service and awe of something else. Be ridiculously generous and watch how small your problems get.
9. Best Supporting Actor/Actress
I have a hard time believing Jared Leto was mad about winning Best Supporting Actor for Dallas Buyers Club. Your supporting role in the stories of others is just as meaningful as your lead role in your life.
10. Parking Validation
I always thought the term parking validation was funny. You don't need anybody to validate the fact that your car is parked. You just want your discounted parking. If your purpose is a parked car, then getting validated is nice. It'll ease a bit of the burden of paying for your purpose. However, with or without the validation, your parked car is still parked.
I am thrilled for the new year and new decade. My hope for you is that you won't let anybody, especially yourself, discourage you from going after an ever improving version of self. Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to you.
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